Let’s get this out of the way: I don’t have much going on right now, or much to look forward to! Which is why, I surmise, I sent the same text of “omg Gigi and Zayn!!!” to not one, not two, but three different group chats after Hadid posted that Instagram of her daughter’s little hand. But I can’t chalk up my enthusiasm (which, in normal times, would have amounted to an “oh wow” murmur at most) to sheer boredom alone. It’s also because I’m sensing a trend afoot: 2020—in addition to being the year a global pandemic changed life as we knew it—is looking poised to be the year of the cool celebrity baby.
Not since 2018—the year of infinite Kardashian kids and Prince Louis—has there been such a simultaneous arrival of chic children. But who are the members of the new infant Illuminati (and their stylish parents), you ask? Let’s break it down, below.
Kit Harington and Rose Leslie
News broke in September that the Game of Thrones co-stars were expecting their first child together. Now let’s talk about these wondrous genes, shall we? We’ve got two talented actors. One from England, the other from Scotland. One with dark hair, the other with red hair. Which means there is a solid chance that their child with be the second coming of . . . beloved British actor Eddie Redmayne. Look at this picture and tell me I’m wrong!
John Legend and Chrissy Teigen
Teigen showed off her burgeoning baby bump in her husband’s music video for his new single, “Wild.” (It’s a fitting announcement choice: the cookbook author and model first met the singer on the set of his music video for “Stereo.”) This will be the couple’s third child, and if it inherits Teigen’s humor and Legend’s voice, prepare for a future Tik-Tok star with tens of millions of followers!
Joaquin Phoenix and Rooney Mara
Director Victor Kossakovsky let it slip in late September that Joaquin Phoenix and Rooney Mara had welcomed their first child, a son, named River. (He’s named after the actor’s late brother.) Some day, two years from now, a paparazzi will catch a glimpse at the Mara-Phoenix offspring. It will be wearing a leather jacket and you, a grown adult, will feel woefully intimidated by a toddler.
Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik
The world found out during the last week of April that on-and-off couple Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik were expecting their first child. Hadid confirmed the news herself on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: “Obviously we wished we could have announced it on our own terms, but we’re very excited and happy and grateful for everyone’s well wishes,” she said. The supermodel announced that she’d given birth to a baby girl in late September on Instagram, posting a picture of the child’s tiny hand holding Malik’s. “Our girl joined us earth-side this weekend and she’s already changed our world. So in love,” Hadid wrote. Upon its birth, little Zigi probably signed a Gerber baby contract for ten trillion dollars.
Elon Musk and Grimes
On May 5, Elon Musk and Grimes introduced the world to their baby boy, X Æ A-12. Yes, that’s the actual name. No, no one knows how to pronounce it. And yes, it might actually be illegal under California law. Grimes explained its origin, combining a letter from an Elven alphabet with the shorthand for a CIA spy plane. Like Amy Adams in that movie Arrival, I suspect he will one day decode an entire alien language.
Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry
Not one for low-key announcements, Katy Perry debuted her baby bump in her music video for Never Worn White. On Twitter, she even added some humor: “omg I’m so glad I don’t need to suck it in anymore,” she wrote.
At the end of August, Perry announced the arrival of their daughter, Daisy Dove Bloom. With a platinum-pop-record mother and a blockbuster-franchise-leading father, this baby will be able to sing. It will be able to dance. It will be able to act. Which means that, in this group, it wins the superlative for “Most Likely to Have Its Own Disney Channel Show by Age 11.” Unless that crown is taken by the child of. . .
Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner
Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner never officially announced that they were expecting, but paparazzi caught Jonas and the noticeably pregnant Turner on a walk. (I feel for Turner here—no one deserves to have their quarantine fresh air activities documented. Let us stroll through the haze of our pandemic-induced melancholia while wearing leggings in peace!) Turner reportedly gave birth at the end of July. Happy for them, and happy for that baby, who will also have Priyanka Chopra as an aunt.
Originally published on Vogue.com