Selena Gomez’s new song “Lose You To Love Me” helped her get over the breakup. Photo: Instagram/@selenagomez
Selena Gomez first broke her longtime silence about her on-and-off-again relationship with Justin Bieber and her mental journey since their final breakup with the release of her latest album Rare. Now, the American singer is speaking out again on the almost-decade-long struggle she’s faced in the aftermath of what she deems an emotionally abusive relationship. In a recent interview with NPR, Gomez discusses the highs and lows she faced with Bieber, finally saying farewell to him through music, and finding “strength” through the pain of being a “victim of emotional abuse.”
“It’s dangerous to stay in a victim mentality. And I’m not being disrespectful, I do feel I was a victim to certain abuse and I think that it’s something that — I had to find a way to understand it as an adult,” explained Gomez. “And I had to understand the choices I was making. As much as I definitely don’t want to spend the rest of my life talking about this, I am really proud that I can say I feel the strongest I’ve ever felt and I’ve found a way to just walk through it with as much grace as possible.”
Selena Gomez’s latest album “Rare” is a musical diary into her last 4 years. Photo: Instagram/@selenagomez
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In an age of social media and the digital spotlight glaring on the private lives of many celebrities, Gomez felt releasing this album was her way of reclaiming the narrative of some of the “worst moments” of her life over the past four years. “The reason why I’ve become so vocal about the trials and tribulations of my life is because people were already going to narrate that for me. I wasn’t going to have a choice because of how fast everything moves now. And most of the time, yes, it’s not true, or it’s an embellished version of what the truth is. I want to be able to tell my story the way that I want to tell it.”
Her first number-one single from the album, “Lose You To Love Me” did just that, giving her the “respectful closure” she wanted to move onto a new chapter of her life through poignant yet decisive lyrics. “I know I needed some way to just say a few things that I wish I had said. It’s not a hateful song; it’s a song that is saying — I had something beautiful and I would never deny that it wasn’t that. It was very difficult and I’m happy it’s over. And I felt like this was a great way to just say, you know, it’s done, and I understand that, and I respect that, and now here I am stepping into a whole other chapter.”
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However, this musical diary is far from only a cathartic snippet into the pop singer’s infamous relationship. Delving into her difficulties with mental health and how she’s suffered from anxiety and depression, Gomez makes multiple references to this ongoing journey that will likely last “forever” with her latest soundtracks. “Yes, I don’t think I just magically feel better. I have days where it is hard for me to get out of bed, or I have major anxiety attacks. All of that still happens…But the way I find these moments in my life that are pretty difficult, I think the only way it’s helped me is that I can use that for good.”
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